One of the guys in my class was hurt emotionally and he started crying in front of all of the friends. The immediate reaction was this: “Don’t be such a girl”, “Don’t cry like a loser”, “You are such a baby”…
I don’t understand. Crying does not make you a loser. It is a part of being human. Using the words such as “Girl” or “Loser” as abuses should be stopped by all.
Crying does not make you any less of a human. In fact, it proves that you still have feelings. Crying does not make you weaker. In fact, it gives you the power to get over your problems and start over afresh. I asked my friend, Zain Agha, if he cries or not. He replied: “If I have to. There is nothing unmanly about crying. Crying is a human act. It is the helplessness that gets you.”
When you call someone a “baby” as an insult, you are actually complimenting them. Because babies don’t give up. They fail at simple tasks, they fall down while walking, they drop their spoons while eating, but they don’t give up. They try again. They try harder. They win in the end.
When you are call someone a “woman”, you are actually complimenting them. Because women play the demanding role of mothers. The patience, willpower, determination of a mother is incomparable. She bears the pain to bring her kids into this world. She bears the pain of upbringing them. She bears the pain of their harsh words. Yet, she is always there when they need her.
There is nothing wrong with men tearing up. We should stop stereotyping and expect men to say “mard ko dard nahi hota”(Men don’t feel pain). Humans have different thresholds of patience and when the problems cross that line, they break. But that does not mean that they have broken forever. They stand up and rebuild themselves. Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. I am no man but I say it is time to stop abiding the sexism against men, and shun the ideas such as:
Teach your male kids that it is okay to cry.
Teach your kids to respect women and not use “girl” or “woman” as abuses.
Teach your kids to respect the feelings of the person who is hurt.
Teach your kids to not search for the right person for themselves, but to be the right person for all.
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